Excited

It's now only a matter of weeks until I go back to Toronto.  I'm excited but at the same time I'm not one hundred percent keen.  Though I love visiting Brad and hanging out with the people I know, I miss my dog.  I really do.  I love having my little rolly polly, dopey little dog.  She loves to cuddle and play and she's always happy to be with you.  She craves to be with you.  I do love my dear sweet little booger.
I'm scribbling a  new story.  Bits and pieces and being idly scribbled together, it won't see the light of the day because it sounds too much like the work Caitlin Kitteridge does.  I hope one day I will be as successful as she is, to have a couple of series written.
I dream that the story I'm working on will become something like the work of the lady who wrote the historian or some other best seller.  Of course, this is highly improbably.  Writing a best seller that shoots up to the top in about a year.   Basically. writing a commercial best seller is winning the lottery.  Writing a commercial and critical best seller is even more rare.  And since stuff like that never happens to me, unless I reeeallly need it (i.e. I got my lung transplant in six months instead of two years).  Another example might be when I got accepted into university.  Of course I couldn't finish it which was very disappointing.  I truly wanted to finish.  I know I can finish this if my parents don't move!
You might ask why me finishing my current story depends on if my parents move or not.
 My mentor lives here.  She can't travel because she has an illness that prevents her from doing so.  She's been a real help these past few years.  If I move down east then my story will never get done.  Though we could still communicate through email and the phone but I have always preferred being schooled in person, with a teacher I can talk to face to face, to explain any questions I have etc.  Besides, I really do love hanging out with her.  She is a very wise woman and she tries to make feel better about what I am doing.
Coming from a middle class, working family, I was raised that doing an honest day`s work and getting a ``real job`` where you get a salary then settled down, buy a house and be normal.   Don`t get me wrong.  I do like my individuality or what I perceive to be my individuality but I also wanted to have a normal life.  I wanted to have a ``real`` career and use it to travel around Europe, maybe marry a man from Europe in a European country for the rest of my life.  Of course, after I got sick none of this was possible.  I couldn`t work or go to school because I`ve developed such a case of high in anxiety in my normal life, that any kind of test or pressure stresses me out to the point where I made myself sick.  It was horrible and still is.  I have to take medication for it.  I take a very small amount but still...have to take it.
I guess I just have to pray to the Goddess until I finish this and hope against hope the right agent will pick up my manuscript and consider it to be enough to publish and sell it.  I don`t care how little money it might be worth,  I just want to get it on a bookshelf in a bookstore and have lots of people buy it.

Eh, anyway, gotta go!

Cheers!